Posted by
PCLIVE! on Sunday, August 12, 2007 8:14:07 PM
By Rev. JohnThe main thing that makes me conservative has nothing to do with the social issues du joir (most of which I don't feel strongly one way or the other). It has to do with my belief in personal responsibility and not blaming everyone else for my problems. I always look to see if I'm doing everything I can to help myself before I expect others to help. I can't blame President Bush for my hardships if I'd make the same bad decisions during the Kerry administration.
That said, when I hear Candidate X talking aboot health care, the first thing that comes to mind is the person who is lighting up a cigarette on their way out of McDonalds. I think of a story a co worker (who is fat) told me aboot how his wife (who is also fat) wants him to stop LOSING weight, because she can't live in a world where he's not as fat as she is. I think of the over forty billion dollars in annual health care expenses that are related to people being too fat and/or not exercising. Does this mean that the health care system isn't complete stoogats? Of course not, but the best way to avoid it and the bureaucracy that makes it stoogats in the first place is to do everything in your power to stay healthy. If you aren't going to take care of yourself, why should anyone else?
That's why I present the "Rev. John Eat Less and Move More (Your Fat B**S***D) Health Initiative." The three basic steps are to (1) eat less food, (2) get more exercise, and (3) shut up and don't complain. You see, I too used to be a fat b**s***d My heaviest was 250 pounds. One day I joined Weight Watchers and after a lot of hard work I managed to get down to 165 (which is what they said I should be). Unfortunately, I like cheeseburgers and beer, so I'm 210 now aiming to get back to the 190 range (which is where I was the most comfortable).
What I'm saying is I know how hard of a struggle it is to lose weight, and I know all the excuses because I've used them all. I've also learned a few tricks along the way...
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1. Fad Diets don't work, and neither do short cuts. You spent a long time becoming a fat b**s***d; it's going to take time and work to lose the weight. Not matter how many diets Oprah endorses, she always seems to put at least some of the weight back on.
2. If you do no other exercise during the day, always go for a walk after dinner. If the weather sucks, walk around the living room for a half an hour.
3. Go to the library (maybe ever walk there). Read about healthy food, illness prevention diets, and any health related magazines. My best friend was my subscription to "Men's Health." Get your learn on.
4. Buy groceries for lunch, not fast food. Also, frozen dinners like Healthy Choice, Lean Cuisine and Weight Watchers are usually on sale for half price at one supermarket or the other.
5. Watch fat people. See what they eat and what they feed their kids.
6. See what fitness programs your health insurance covers. For example, mine covers a gym membership as long as I go at least twice a week. And before you say it, make the time to exercise. If it means waking up early or missing an episode of "Law and Order," so be it.
7. If you're at work, leave your wallet in the car. You can't use the vending machine if you don't have money on you.
8. Take full advantage of the parks, beaches, nature trails, etc. in your neighborhood.
9. If you don't have to drive there, don't drive there. Walk.
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10. Say goodbye to soda, even if it is diet.
So there you have it. No expensive books to buy or pills to take. All it takes is a few changes (most of which don't cost you a dime), some self control, and a lot of hard work. You just have to want it in the first place.
But in the end, isn't it worth it?